Ggoorrsstt the Friendly FrplWebmeister

Ggoorrsstt the Friendly Frpl


Ggoorrsstt the Friendly Frpl (rhymes with “purple”) was the furry, one-eyed creature that lived in the secret room. (Yes, that’s supposed to be a single eye with an eyebrow on front of the frpl.)

Frpls can be found on the island of ORIK (near the islands of OMOK and GNIK, get it?).


Patti, Maxine and Laverne were Ggoorrsstt’s cousins who also lived in the secret room. They would chant “Ooga-chaka,ooga-chaka” (the intro to “Hooked on a Feeling” by Blues Swede) whenever the door was opened. Their first names were oddly the same as those of the the Andrews Sisters.

Fussy eaters, J.P. had to order Farm fresh frpl fodder from farmer Frank from Fife …

… or Farmer Fred from Ferndale.

On his birthday, Ggoorrsstt got foreign fantastique frpl fodder from Farmer Francois from France.

Evidently, when the antennae of a Frpl falls off, they don’t grow back.

Bob Newman was usually in the Ggoorrsstt suit except when Ggoorrsstt was being treated by Ketchican the Animal Man.

The costume was made by the wife of one of the staff. Originally it had a third arm in front that was removed to avoid, uh… anatomical confusion.

Ggoorrsstt is named after the unincorporated community of Gorst near Bremerton, which is affectionately referred to as “the armpit of the Kitsap Peninsula.”

Finding Ggoorrsstt

In one of his biggest stunts, J.P. got over 5000 Patches Pals to show up at the Woodland Park Zoo to help him and Ketchican find the lost Ggoorrsstt.

The suspense was built up over several weeks on the program with J.P. unable to locate Ggoorrsstt. Patches Pals were instructed to show up at the Zoo with arm bands reading OFF (Official Frpl Finder). They weren’t promised prizes or treats of any kind, it was just a gathering of Patches Pals.

Kind of like Woodstock without the muddy hippies.