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That music can only mean one thing:
J.P.'s arch-enemy was, of course, Boris S. Wort, The Second Meanest Man in the World.
Boris was always trying to ruin Christmas, kidnap Esmerelda, take over the show or just slam J.P. in the door.
Played by Bob Newman, Boris was such an evil villain that he couldn't make personal appearances with J.P. The one and only time he tried he was actually beat up by overzealous Patches Pals.
He who has the nose, rules the show:
Boris has left a permanent mark on the Pacific Northwest. Many local lawyers and real estate agents were once "Boris Buddies."
Boris gives J.P. some evil job counseling:
In the fall of 1980, the show held an election for the office of Mayor of Pugetopolis. The two candidates were Boris S. Wort and J.P. Patches. Boris' campaign slogan was "WIN WITH WORT!" I think we all know how that election turned out.
It's a shame to cover up your smile, but now you can wear the famous smile of J.P. or Gertrude! Sure to bring a spark of joy and nostalgia to all who recognize it! A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Seattle Children's.
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